Review #4: Look Alive Twenty-Five, by Janet Evanovich

Oh, Janet. Did you write this one? It feels like maybe you didn't.

First, a summary. One of Vinnie's bondees (is that a word?) has gone FTA and forfeited his collateral, The Red River Deli in Trenton, which means that Vinnie is now the proud owner. The only problem? Three managers have gone missing in the last month, so Vinnie taps Stephanie and Lula to run the show. As bad as Stephanie is as a bond enforcement agent, she's even worse as a deli manager. On the other hand, Lula is surprisingly pretty good at it, even if the health department needs to look the other way every time she's in the kitchen. Morelli's on the case of the missing managers, and Ranger's on the scene because one of his men (Hal) winds up missing, too.

It all sounds vintage Stephanie Plum, but there was something different about this book that I couldn't quite put my finger on. There were no car explosions, no mention of Big Blue, no truly wacky shenanigans, no meals with Morelli at Pino's, no Simon Diggery, no Tank (again), very little of Connie, even less of Grandma Mazur, no funerals, and no Mrs. Plum ironing. There's a brief appearance by Valerie, Albert Kloughn, and their weird kids (the eldest hasn't outgrown the horse thing yet), who haven't been seen in at least ten books. I thought for sure when Lula posited the alien theory that Mooner would show up, but he hasn't been seen in awhile, either. Bizarrely, Wuulf made an appearance, which I found strange after Diesel showed up in book 24, but his storyline was never really fleshed out, kind of like Diesel's last appearance. Vinnie is around more - he shows up naked except for one shoe. There is very little in the area of actual bounty hunting, and one of the two FTAs Stephanie recovers is a dead body that seems to leave her pretty unimpressed. The other involves a poorly written catnapping scene that would have been more funny had there not been exploding roadkill in the last book.

And I have to say that the Ranger/Stephanie/Morelli thing bothered me this time around. Normally, I'm all for letting the girl have a little fun as long as all parties are okay with it. But this time, it felt different. After the comfortable domesticity of last book where Stephanie practically moved in with Morelli because Diesel was in town, and pointedly did NOT stay with Ranger, Janet did a complete 180. Morelli tells Stephanie that he and Ranger have worked it out that one of them is with her at all times, which means when Joe is called to a crime scene, Ranger swoops in to babysit her. And if Ranger gets caught up somewhere, he physically hands her off to Morelli, or, in most cases, sends one of his men to watch her. Like, Stephanie has a 24 hour bodyguard in the form of a Rangeman guy (and yet Wuulf still manages to poof in and out of her apartment without anyone seeing him). At one point, Morelli actually turns to Ranger and tells him that he needs to take her home with him, because Morelli's going to be awhile. Stephanie says something to the effect of, "You trust Ranger?", and Joe says, "No, but I trust you". Which I guess is growth? Maybe it shows that Morelli is comfortable with their relationship? But it's RANGER. I mean, COME ON. Nothing happens, because Stephanie talks herself out of it, but Ranger certainly doesn't make it easy. And Ranger used to be pretty circumspect about the whole thing; he let Stephanie know the offer was on the table, but he was never really aggressive about it and never really propositioned her. Last book he basically said the ball was in Stephanie's court and that he wasn't going to do anything. This time? He's actually asking, which is a big departure from his usual MO. It's almost like Ranger is getting ready to make a move to make a commitment to Stephanie. And Joe seems totally disinterested. At times it almost read like Ranger and Morelli have a gentleman's agreement when it comes to her, which, if that's what everyone wants, then okay, but nobody's, you know, talked to Stephanie about this. 

I don't know. I'll still read these as along as she churns them out, but I'll come here to bitch about it.

Review #3: Hard Core Twenty-Four, by Janet Evanovich

Simon Diggery is FTA, so Stephanie goes to get him, and he happily goes along with her. Simon's usually an issue, so when he's willing to go to jail and hang out there for a while, Stephanie can't resist asking why. Turns out, there are zombies on the loose, which Simon discovered while grave robbing. Which, okay, but Stephanie's not interested in zombie hunting because it's scary, and besides, she's too busy taking care of Ethel, Simon's pet boa, while Simon is in the clink. 

But then Morelli catches a case involving a body with a missing brain, and then Grandma offers up the information that brains and heads have gone missing from the funeral home, and then Diesel shows back up, and, well, Stephanie needs to maybe deal with the zombie thing.

In the meantime, Grandma has met a George Hamilton lookalike online, and he invites Grandma down to visit him in Key West. So she runs away, Connie finds out that George looks more like the Costanza version than the Hamilton version, he's married, and he and his wife are swingers. So in the midst of zombie hunting, Stephanie has to go rescue Grandma and bring her back while Mrs. Plum eyes her ironing board. Also, Diesel is crashing at Stephanie's, Stephanie is staying at Morelli's, and Rex is having a sleepover at Ranger's. It's good to be Rex.

It's typical Stephanie Plum - wacky highjincks and lots of food (I don't understand why Stephanie doesn't weigh 500 pounds) and crazy outfits from Lula and some car explosions. And speaking of, for the first time ever, Ranger threatens to exact payment for a new car: a night with him. Stephanie knows she is going to blow up this car. Ranger knows she is going to blow up this car. EVERYONE knows she is going to blow up this car. So she double or nothings him, and sure enough, she blows up the second one. (Well, one of them didn't explode, but some road kill exploded inside, so...same thing.) Anyway, Ranger, in a throwaway line but one that I found very interesting, tells Stephanie, in response to her query about whether he's going to collect on their bet, that she is driving this bus, and she alone makes those decisions. It's made very clear that Stephanie is going to have to make the move. 

Which brings up a whole other discussion, and one that we've had before, about whether it's time for Stephanie to grow up and make a choice. And for awhile, I thought she was moving in that direction; she and Joe were sort of engaged to be engaged during the last book. But with this Ranger bet, I'm not so sure. And I wonder if Janet's trying to tell us something with Diesel back in the mix, although Stephanie pointedly stays at Joe's while Diesel is there. I vacillate over how to feel about Stephanie and her inability to make a decision, and whether Joe is a sucker for staying with her, and whether Stephanie is a jerk for treating Joe the way she does, and whether Ranger is just a player. But then I realize that maybe I'm giving too much though to fictional characters and their romantic lives. Plus also: Team Ranger 4-eva, so I have to kind of suspend my moral outrage in order to keep reading about him.

Conspicuously missing from this installment were Stephanie's dad, her cousin Eddie Gazarra, Vinnie, Grandma Bella, and Joyce Barnhart. And Tank, whom I love dearly. And even though Valerie and Albert Kloughn and their pack of weird kids haven't been around in several years, I miss them, too. Connie and Lula weren't as prominent and even though the men were around, they were definitely not the focus. Stephanie did a lot on her own this time around, which is a bit of a departure, and it was kind of nice to see. 

I'll keep reading these as long as Janet churns them out. I mean: Ranger. Duh.